Cause and Effect
by Caledvwlch
Summary: The title has very little to do with the story really. An Organization XIII themed one-shot.


_**Author's Note:** I actually wrote this a little over a year ago, probably out of sheer boredom. It's randomness still amuses me, so I decided to go ahead and toss it up here._

Zexion lay stretched out on what was quite possibly the most hideous sofa conceived by man, pretending not to enjoy reading "A Tale of Two Cities" (you never know when someone could barge in). Just as Sydney Carton confessed his love to Luci Manette, the door to the den flew open and someone stomped angrily in. Zexion glanced up to see Axel, glaring at the world in general and spitting silvery feathers. Actually, he was covered in silvery-purple feathers from spiky red top to black booted bottom. Zexion smirked and returned to his book. Axel caught the look, and the derisive snort that went with it, and turned the glare on his fellow Nobody.

"And just what is so funny?" he demanded.

Zexion shrugged innocently.

"Nothing. So, what happened on Gaia? You get attacked by a pillow?"

Axel's eyes narrowed even more as he plucked a handful of feathers from himself and attempted to throw them at the smaller, silver-blue haired Nobody on the sofa. The throw failed miserably as the feathers floated gently down a few inches from Axel's face. Zexion thought he heard him growl.

"How come I had to be the one to go deal with Kuja?" he complained loudly, flopping down onto an armchair in defeat. "I though he was supposed to be some sissy pretty-boy, but then he goes and sets a frickin' army of those weird silver dragon things on me."

"That's why we wanted him on our side, dimwit," Zexion pointed out. "And the Superior sent you because you were the only one who wasn't busy and hadn't already been on recruiting duty."

Axel was silent for a moment as he thought this over.

"What about Demyx?" he asked finally.

"He was sent to recruit Ultimecia, remember?"

"Oh, so that's why he locked himself in his room and has been crying for three days straight. I thought Xigbar had insulted that sitar of his or something."

The two Nobodies lapsed into silence. It was an oddly peaceful moment, doomed to end only in violence. The violence came in the form of a sticky honey bear. The bear flew through the still open door, lodging itself in Axel's spiky shock of hair. Axel twitched, and cautiously reached a hand back to see what had hit him. The bear was followed by a very frightened looking Roxas, who quickly hid behind another, not quite so hideous sofa.

"Geez, for Kingdom Hearts' sake, somebody tell that lunatic it was an accident!" he yelped, scurrying under the sofa.

Axel stared at the sofa for a minute, and was about to ask Roxas what was going on, when he heard Zexion sniff.

"Flowers…and more coming down the hall," he suddenly seemed to sink deeper into the sofa and it looked like he was trying to hide behind his book. "Too late to get out now," he muttered.

It slowly dawned on Axel what Roxas had done. And how incredibly dangerous it was about to become in the den. He was about to make a break for it, when a powerful presence filled the doorway.

"I know that little miscreant is hiding in here," a deep voice growled. "So why don't you two make it easy on yourselves and tell me where he is."

Axel shifted awkwardly in his chair, knowing full well how many different kinds of pain Marluxia was capable of inflicting. Pink hair or no, the man was a menace. He jumped at the sound of Zexion clearing his throat.

"I thought you were supposed to go talk to Sephiroth today," he said casually.

"I did," Marluxia snapped.

Zexion glanced up from his book briefly, an eyebrow raised skeptically.

"Oh? You were hardly gone an hour. I didn't think he'd be that easy to convince."

"He wasn't. Now stop avoiding my question, both of you."

Zexion ignored the second half of the statement.

"So, what? You didn't argue the point?"

"Look, if you want to argue with a psychopath carrying a sword longer than his body and an Oedipus complex, be my guest!" Marluxia snapped, rounding angrily on Zexion. "And since I'm getting nowhere with this, I want you to tell that little punk the next time he steps on my flowers he had better be prepared to face the consequences!"

With a final, parting glare at Axel, who was still attempting not to cower in his armchair, the Graceful Assassin stormed from the room in a tempest of flowery pink. When the last of the petals had settled, Roxas crawled slowly from underneath the sofa. The young Nobody was visibly shaken with his recent encounter with death. He took a deep breath to steady himself, and then turned to Zexion.

"Um, thanks for that. I really didn't think you would defend me," he said.

Zexion shook his head, not looking up from his book.

"I wasn't defending you. I just hate the smell of blood."

Axel shook himself and climbed out of the armchair. That was far too much excitement for one day, even for him. He elbowed Roxas as he headed for the door.

"C'mon, let's go see if we can get Demyx out of his room. He must've stopped crying by now."

"I wouldn't be so sure. Have you seen Ultimecia? Brrrrr, she's scary."

Zexion shifted to a more comfortable position as the other two left the room. Finally, a little peace and quiet.

It was then that the unconscious Freeshooter dropped through the ceiling.

THE END

Or is it?


End file.
